Blog

I’m Publishing an Ebook!

Do you love unicorns, comedy and art? Then you will love my new ebook!

This ebook is a compilation of unicorn reviews based on unicorn art created by talented artists from all over the country. The book started as the super awesome unicorn blog: unicornratings.tumblr.com if you love the blog, you will love this book, as it includes never before seen images, and bonus material not available online!

The working title is: “Finally, Unbiased Reviews of Unicorn Images.”

For a limited time it’s only $5! You should preorder here! And I will be your best friend!

And, as an extra bonus, here’s a sneak peak of the never before seen unicorn image I will be reviewing on Monday January 30th!

I post new reviews every Monday at unicornratings.tumblr.com. Thank you for reading and for your insight and feedback too!

Jan 16, 2017 | Posted by in Blog | 0 comments

I’m going to be on Scream Queens on FOX!

I’m excited to announce that I will be guest starring on a television show!

The show is called Scream Queens and it’s on Fox.

The show airs Tuesday Nov 15th at 9/8c, and it will also be available on Hulu and Fox’s website.

And guess what else?!

I’m also excited that my character on the show has Marfan Syndrome 🙂

Basically the dream job.

This is a great opportunity to spread awareness and I will be doing my best to get on local TV news stations, as well as podcasts and web shows to talk about the show but more importantly, to talk about my heart condition called Marfan Syndrome. Awareness saves lives, and it’s important for everyone to know the signs. It’s not very often that Marfan Syndrome gets mentioned on television. And we’re typically seen as just patients on dramatic medical shows. Well on this show I’m not just a patient that is sick. I got to play a more layered and fun role. And it was awesome.

The cast, crew, creator and everyone involved were amazing. They took care of me on set. When I had back pain I was able to take a break, when my feet hurt they found different shoes, and when I told them about my heart condition, they listened and were excited to spread awareness as well. I want to extend a huge thank you to everyone involved, and I’m thankful that the writers, casting directors and Ryan Murphy made it a point to try to hire an actress who had Marfan Syndrome. It has been a dream come true.

I also want to note that this show is not a “PC” show and it does have violence, and perhaps isn’t a show that young children should watch. I recommend parents watch the episode first and then decide if you want to show your children the entire episode/series or just certain parts.

I love the show. It’s silly, over the top, edgy and really really funny. I don’t think television needs to reflect the ideal world, it’s purpose is to entertain us and to explore that which is not just good, but also evil and the struggles that mirror the real world.

I really really hope you watch the show and enjoy seeing someone with Marfan’s Syndrome on television. This was an amazing opportunity that has opened more doors and will allow me to continue to follow my dreams and inspire others with medical illnesses to follow their dreams as well.

I love you all and thank you all for the support! I will be posting again following the episode and I look forward to hearing your thoughts!

xoxox

-Andy Erikson

PS: Do you have a podcast, blog, web show, or work for a news organization and would like to learn more about Marfan Syndrome? Or hey, do you know Ellen Degeneres? 🙂 PLEASE REACH OUT! My email is: andyerikson@gmail.com

AND here are the signs of Marfan Syndrome:

  • Long arms, legs and fingers
  • Tall and thin body type
  • Curved spine
  • Chest sinks in or sticks out
  • Flexible joints
  • Flat feet
  • Crowded teeth
  • Stretch marks on the skin that are not related to weight gain or loss

Please go to https://www.marfan.org/ to learn more!

And don’t forget to join my mailing list!

Nov 14, 2016 | Posted by in Blog, featured | 4 comments

Yes, I used to be a high powered business woman

This conversation is from last year at my Mom’s office in Minnesota.


 

I’m working at my mom’s insurance office today:

OFFICE ANDY: I am irate! I’m just irate.

MOM: What is it Andy?

OFFICE ANDY: I need that on my desk by 4:30!

MOM: What do you need?

OFFICE ANDY: I need that on my desk by 4:30!

MOM: Andy, it’s 5:15.

OFFICE ANDY: I need something on my desk by a specific time! Just put something on my desk!

MOM: (sets a roll of tape on the desk) Here you go.

OFFICE ANDY: Good! Now, cut the tape into 15 pieces and put them into gift bags. I know how much you love gift bags!

MOM: (walks out of the room.)

OFFICE ANDY: (Deep breath) I’m sorry. I was a little irate back there. It’s just that Tuesday is our busiest day. And there are just a lot of numbers to deal with.

MOM: That’s a phone number.

OFFICE ANDY: You’re fired!

MOM: Oh, can I go home then?

OFFICE ANDY: Sorry, I got a little irate again. You’re not fired. If you’re going home, I’d like a ride.


 

Having a job is hard. Being the boss is harder.

Aug 26, 2016 | Posted by in Blog, Posts | 0 comments

I’m in Love with Pokemon Go!

Here are some photos and a video of what it’s like to play Pokemon Go, and what it’s like to be me 🙂

How to dress like a Pokemon Go Trainer

You gotta look the part. Hats are a must. Checkout all my sweet Gym badges.

13626380_10107878934129780_4565152383051823713_n

Got my backpack on so I can hold Pokeballs and candy.

13654148_10107878934144750_5720108676327464787_n

I look JUST like my avatar 🙂

13659069_10107878934194650_4563672161308244947_n

 

And now the best part, a video of what it’s like to play Pokemon Go! Super silly and so much fun. Please watch and share and give it a like on Youtube!


Click here to watch!

Video Credits: Xchel Hernandez, Joleen Lunzer and Alex Stein

 

Jul 11, 2016 | Posted by in Blog, featured, Posts | 2 comments

Reebok Rant – Alien Stomper Shoes only in men’s sizes

Reebok came out with a pair of designer shoes based on Sigourney Weaver’s footwear in the movie Alien today. Sigourney is a woman with “woman feet” and I’m not kidding, the shoes are only available in men’s sizes. There were no options for women sizes.

Now if you’re thinking, “Just settle down ladies and buy a pair in men’s sizes and stop being so emotional!” Well even if a woman did want to purchase these shoes, the smallest size was a Men’s 9! Aka a women’s 11!

And according to IMDB Sigourney wears a size 10 in women’s so she wouldn’t even be able to wear her own goddamn shoes!

Wtf Reebok?

Reebok Alien Stomper no women sizes

Apr 26, 2016 | Posted by in Blog, featured, Posts | 0 comments

80 ways to find inspiration for jokes.

People sometimes ask me how I come up with my material and I really don’t have one answer, except to say that I try to mix things up as much as I can.

I have two main practices however.

1. I go about my day, and when something sparks my attention, I take a note in my phone. Then, later that day or when I get a chance, I sit down with the notes in my phone and turn them into bits or tweets. I then put these in a separate file and eventually tell them on stage.

2. The other way to create jokes, is by treating it like a job or homework. I sit down and just force myself to write. Not about things that happened during my day, but about random words and topics. This option tends to be more time consuming, BUT I find I get more jokes out of this process then waiting for jokes to come to me.

So, for this post I’m going to focus on the second route, which is how to find inspiration for jokes when you’re just sitting in a room by yourself. Some of these I do on a regular basis, but most of them I just made up while I was bored on a recent flight.

Most of these aren’t writing prompts, I did this on purpose so that there aren’t a bunch of people all writing jokes using the exact same premise. Instead these are ways to find something to write about. I was going to publish a ton of these in a book, and I still might, but here they are for you for your enjoyment.

Let me know which of these you really enjoyed or were drawn to! And please share any techniques you use to find inspiration.

Don’t forget to join my mailing list to find out when I’ll be performing in a city near you! And subscribe to my blog by entering your email on the right hand sidebar to get notified when I make new sweet posts 🙂

 

Without further ado, 80 ways to find inspiration for jokes:

1. Turn on the TV and write a joke inspired by a conversation. 

2. Take a walk. Walk until you have an idea for a joke, then run back home and write it down.

3. Look in your contacts in your phone and count to the 20th name down. Write a joke about a memory with this person.

4. Listen to a song and get inspired by a lyric.

5. Make a grocery list, write a joke about one of the items on the list.

6. Think about something that annoys you. Write a joke about this thing.

7. Go through old set lists and find a joke you don’t tell any more. Try to rewrite this joke.

8. Pretend you are an animal. Write a joke from the perspective of this animal.

9. Make a list of things you love. Write a joke about one of these things.

10. meditate for 5 minutes. Clear your mind and don’t let your mind wonder. Live in the presence and just focus on your breathing. After 5 minutes is up, write a joke.

11. Listen to a podcast. Write a joke about something you learned in the podcast.

12. Think about something funny that happened today, write a joke about this incident.

13. Think about something normal that happens in your life, and exaggerate it to write a joke about it.

14. What is in the drawer, closet, or cupboard closest to you. Write a joke about one of these items.

15. Call a parent or grandparent and write a joke about something you talk about.

16. Take a shower. Let your mind wonder. Write a joke about something you thought about in the shower.

17. What is the fanciest place you have ever been? Write a joke about this.

18. What is something you don’t believe in? Write a joke about this.

19. Overwhelm yourself with stimuli. Turn on a podcast, watch a Tv show, listen to a song, read a web page etc… and write jokes connecting the stimuli.

20. Free write for an entire notebook page. Write a joke inspired by something you wrote.

21. Try to remember a sleep dream you have had and write a joke about something that happened in the dream.

22. What is the last thing you would want to write a joke about? Write a joke about it.

23. Checkout Twitter and find what hashtags are trending. Use one of these to inspire a joke.

24. What is the smartest thing you know? Write a joke about it.

25. Write a joke about how you write jokes.

26. Go to craigslist and write a joke about something that is for sale.

27. Go to a room that you never write in, or a closet, and write a joke while sitting in there.

28. Scroll through the emojis on your phone, pick one that stands out to you, and write a joke inspired by it.

29. Go to your medicine cabinet and write a joke about something in the cabinet.

30. Doodle in a notebook until an idea for a joke comes to you.

31. Get into a political argument on Facebook by going to a fan page of a political figure or group you disagree with. Write a joke inspired by the argument.

32. Write a Yelp review. Write joke inspired by your Yelp review.

33. Write down a word that starts with the first letter of our first name, and a word that starts with the the last letter of your last name. Now write a joke that combines these two things.

34. What is your favorite word? Write a joke about this word.

35. What is your least favorite word? Write a joke about this word.

36. Make up a few inspirational quotes. Write a joke inspired by your own inspiration.

37. Write a joke inspired by a holiday in the month you were born in.

38. Give yourself a pep talk. Write a joke inspired by the pep talk.

39. Make a list of things you wish you learned in school. Write a joke about one of these.

40. Google the word “news” write a joke about a news article.

41. Make a list of silly words. Write a joke about one of these words.

42. Try to summarize your entire life in one sentence and write a joke about this.

43. Write a joke about your favorite animal.

44. If you were filthy rich, what would you write jokes about?

45. Go to your Facebook newsfeed and write a joke inspired by the most annoying status update or news story.

46. Talk to a stranger at a store or on the street and write a joke inspired by the notes you take of the conversation.

47. Write a joke about the outfit you are wearing right now.

48. What are you looking forward to in your near future? Write a joke about this.

49. Write down some thoughts using your non dominant hand, after several sentences switch to your dominant hand and come up with a joke inspired by something you wrote.

50. Make a list of safe words, and write jokes inspired by these words. (Not a joke about safe words.)

51. Ask a friend to give you a word, and write a tweet using this word.

52. Figure out what color underwear you are wearing, and do a google image search of this color. Write a joke inspired by one of the images.

53. Write a joke while sitting on the toilet.

54. Look back into the photos on your phone, count backwards 20 photos, and write a joke inspired by the photo.

55. Write a joke as if you were a member of the opposite sex.

56. What’s something you wish you could tell your boss, or an authority figure? Write a joke about this.

57. What’s the strangest thing in your purse or wallet? Write a joke about this.

58. Delete an app from your phone. Write a joke about that app.

59. What is the silliest question you can think of? Google this question and write a joke about the answers you find.

60. Write a joke about your iPhone or laptop background image.

61. Go back to your first ever Facebook profile image, and a write a joke inspired by it.

62. Write a joke about you least favorite state in the USA.

63. Do as many push-ups as you can, then lay on the floor until you think of a joke.

64. Go to your spam folder. Write a joke inspired by one or more of your recent spam emails.

65. Go to rotten tomatoes. Write a joke inspired by the title of a recent movie at the box office.

66. What is something you wish you’d known about sooner? Write a joke about this.

67. Write a joke inspired by an ad or commercial you have recently seen.

68. Put on the silliest outfit you own, and create a character that would wear this outfit. Write a joke inspired by the experience.

69. Post on Facebook asking for people to give you topics to write jokes about.

70. Go to a coffee shop and ask strangers what you should write a joke about.

71. Write a joke about what your senior quote was or should have been.

72. Go to your bookshelf. Pick out any book. Turn to page 31. Write a joke about something on that page.

73. Hum a song. Any song. Write a joke about this song.

74. Visit Groupon’s website. Write a joke about the strangest item for sale.

75. What is the name of the street you grew up on? Write a joke inspired by this.

76. Check your voicemail, listen to a recent message and write a joke inspired by it.

77. What are you hungry for? Write a joke about this item.

78. Write a joke completely in another language.

79. Make a sandwich and write a joke about the items you wouldn’t put on a sandwich.

80. Write a joke about unicorns (and send it to me so I can hear it)

 

Apr 18, 2016 | Posted by in Blog, Posts | 10 comments

I Wrote A Book!

Proud to announce I’ve officially published a new book on screenwriting! It’s unlike almost anything you’ve ever read before. Learn all the best ways to save squirrels and learn absolutely nothing about writing screenplays. Foreword written by a hedgehog. So what are you waiting for? Get out there and start saving those squirrels!

 

*I did not actually write a book. But I do have squirrel stickers and a red pen!

 

Apr 6, 2016 | Posted by in Blog, Posts | 0 comments

New Jokes! March 3rd 2016 // From Froyo to Cilantro!

I think I like froyo so much because it gives me an excuse to eat gummy bears with a spoon.

Risk is a board game about war and world domination. I have a feeling if our government had designed the game, it would be called “Reward.”

How is it that anytime anyone sings the national anthem, it always feels like they skipped a verse? “Oh say can you see, by the twilight’s last squirrel, what so proudly we braaaaaaaaave!”

I’m sorry that I couldn’t tell that your dog was a girl. He’s a dog.

Do you ever cover yourself with throw pillows instead of getting off the couch to grab a blanket? Yeah, pretty sure evolution skipped a generation.

I feel like we’re living in a world that is the opposite of the fairy tale Rumplestiltskin. It’s called Trumplestiltskin. The whole world is cursed to be unable to forget his name.

Donald Trump has said “The wall just got 10 feet taller” 72 times. At this point the wall is about 720 feet-holy crap he’s building a tower.

If you say “Bloody Mary” three times the bartender will get three Bloody Mary’s.

If you remember to close the door behind you, I think people should ask: “What? Were you born in a Pottery Barn?!”

The fancy hotel I stayed at had cilantro scented shampoo. So weird! I tried it though, and guess what? It tasted like soap.

 

Thank you for reading and for any and all feedback! Let me know which jokes you liked, loved, or perhaps confused you! 🙂

Don’t forget to join my mailing list to find out when I’ll be performing in a city near you!

 

Mar 3, 2016 | Posted by in Blog, Posts | 2 comments
Page 1 of 912345...Last »
Premium Wordpress Themes by UFO Themes