10 New Jokes: From headbands to online shopping

Here are a few one liners and joke premises I’m currently working on. Feedback is welcome and appreciated! Like any jokes? Not like any jokes? Not sure what the joke is supposed to be? Let me know! xoxo

New Rule: If you make your baby wear a headband with a bow on it, you should also be required to wear a headband with a bow on it.

Waffles are like pancakes in jail.

Me: I invented the first ever queen sized candy bar.
Sharktank: You just crossed out ‘king,’ and added a unicorn sticker.
Me: so QVC?

News: Jeremy Renner passes on MI:6 to appear in Ant Man and The Wasp
Me: Andy Erikson passes on Open Mic to appear in Sweat Pants and the Kitchen

I say “no worries” a lot and today a friend told me he hates that phrase.
I didn’t know what to say. I was just like “no worries.”

What’s a dirty knock knock joke called?
A ding dong.

I feel like most snapchat filters are just a gateway to becoming a furry.

Dear hotels: Pillow options. That’s all I’m asking. You got 8 pillows in this room and they’re all the same…

A new study shows that people who don’t use Facebook are happier.
But how are they going to tell people?

One day I just want to be rich enough to use the “sort price from high to low” feature.

Apr 18, 2017 | Posted by in Blog | 5 comments

Comments (5 Responses)

  1. María Luisa says:

    I laughed at the dirty nock nock joke and the no worries.. they were my top favorite

  2. Kate says:

    Hi Andy, I’m a fellow Marf 😍
    I especially like the last 3: pillows, no fb & high to low!
    And the ‘no worries’! I’ve lived in Australia for 10 years now (met an Aussie Marf at the National Marfan conference in St Louis in 2005) and ‘no worries’ is a true blue Aussie-ism, so I use it ALL the time now. It fits so well with the Aussie lifestyle & mentality that I think it’s a great expression, but there was a time that I hated it! In 1997-98, I taught English in Taiwan; my housemate was Chinese-Canadian & he used ‘no worries ‘ to the point that it drove me nuts- I wanted to scream at him: I can worry if I want to!!! So, now I’m wondering where you’re from & where you picked up the expression! Just curious! No worries, mate!! 😍

    • admin says:

      hahah!! I CAN WORRY IF I WANT TO! is so funny! Omg I love it! I’m from Minnesota, a northern state in The United States known for being overly nice. There’s actually a term for it: Minnesota Nice. So we definitely say it a lot! And I can totally see it getting annoying. So cool to hear from an Aussie Marf! Are you originally from the United States? If so I apologize for explaining where Minnesota is, though you never know how much geography anybody knows! 🙂

      So cool that you lived in Taiwan!

  3. Juan says:

    My Fav: What’s a dirty knock knock joke called?
    A ding dong.

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