New Jokes Feb 11 // From The Constitution to Ladies!

Yeah, I like to read the constitution. But only for the articles.

I went to Target and I only bought one thing. I deserve a reward! Good thing the one item I bought was a trophy for myself.

Watching a new documentary about crows. It’s called “Making a Murder.”

If Donald Trump becomes president I’m not moving to Canada. I’m moving to Mexico. Because I’m going to want a wall between us.

I can’t believe kids will watch the same movie a hundred times. (Goes back to watching YouTube video of squirrel getting drunk off fermented pumpkins for thousandth time.)

If Snow White had an evil twin her name would be Snow Yellow.

15% of women send themselves flowers on Valentine’s Day. The other 85% of women don’t get flowers.

A friend told me Valentine’s Day is like Christmas for married women. But if I get gifts from a jolly old bearded guy my husband will be pissed.

Don’t go grocery shopping hungry. And don’t go clothes shopping naked. But for completely different reasons.

Who is the first Lady?
Democrats: Michelle Obama
Republicans: Eve

Thank you for reading and for any and all feedback! Let me know which jokes you liked, loved, or perhaps confused you! 🙂

Don’t forget to join my mailing list to find out when I’ll be performing in a city near you!

Feb 11, 2016 | Posted by in Blog, Posts | 2 comments

Comments (2 Responses)

  1. Tom Worley says:

    Mexico, here we come!

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