First New Jokes of 2016! // Jan 15

I totally approve of war on drugs. It’s actually the only way I’ve found I can enjoy that card game.

I have this strange feeling that my improv teacher is making it up as she goes.

A dog ate a stick of my deodorant and I couldn’t get mad. I was like, I guess that’s how dogs put on deodorant.

You can wear sunglasses indoors if you’re a poker player, or if you live in a tanning bed. And that’s it.

Wait… You can say no to drugs?

I don’t think it’s fair that you have to have big boobs to work at Hooters, but you don’t have to have a big wiener to work at Dicks.

A tattoo artist without any tattoos, is like a skinny chef. Except WAAAAAY shadier.

What do you call it when a comedian has a breakthrough on a joke they’re writing? “A haha! Moment.”

“What do you want to be when you blow up?” – interview with a baby bomb.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but this selfie stick is why people are making fun of me.

 

Thank you for reading and for any and all feedback! Let me know which jokes you liked, loved, or perhaps confused you! 🙂

Don’t forget to join my mailing list to find out when I’ll be performing in a city near you!

Jan 15, 2016 | Posted by in Blog, Posts | 7 comments

Comments (7 Responses)

  1. Mark Grand says:

    I always enjoy reading your jokes. I have a really good laugh about enjoying the card game war on drugs.

    The joke about the baby bomb I didn’t like.

    The “Wait… You can say no to drugs?” left me wondering about you.

  2. Bill Tickle says:

    Liked:
    Hooters
    Improv
    Chef
    An haha moment

    I am a 56 year old guy, so take that for what it’s worth.
    Saw you in Bethlehem, PA. Enjoyed your set

    Stay funny!

  3. Karen says:

    A haha moment 😊

  4. Teresa says:

    Andy — I enjoy your jokes, even when they don’t make me LOL.
    In particular tonight, I enjoyed the interview with the baby bomb,
    although at first, it made my jaw drop, and my eyes fly open wide.

    Cuz — on first reading, it sounded in my head like “BABY bomb — a bomb to blow up babies — instead of “baby BOMB” — a cute & tiny little bomb.

    When you say it out loud, I’m sure it’s fine, and people will get the meaning.

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