New Jokes! From snow cones to stickers // Dec 19

I prefer not to call it a glass of water. Instead, it’s an unmotivated snow cone.

Just ordered room service and was asked if it was for 2 or 3 people. Nope, just me.

It’s a lot harder to text on a banana phone than you’d think.

I have very good muscle memory. I remember that it hurts to use my muscles so I eat cake and lay on the couch.

I love when my cat whines for me to hold her. Because I love holding her. It would be like someone whining that they want to give me $30.

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Kittens don’t kill me.. Kittens make me stronger! I am KITTEN WOMAN!

My tag line is: “You’re it!”

I talk to people on airplanes. That’s how much I like making friends.

Cactuses totally look like they want a hug. But don’t. It’s a trap!

Bumper cars don’t even have bumper stickers on them. Figure that one out.

 

Thank you for reading and for any and all feedback! Let me know which jokes you liked, loved, or perhaps confused you! 🙂

Don’t forget to join my mailing list to find out when I’ll be performing in a city near you!

Dec 19, 2015 | Posted by in Blog, Posts | 18 comments

Comments (18 Responses)

  1. Jimmy says:

    Snow cone and muscle memory! Both are fabulous in my opinion

  2. Lynelle says:

    Love the tag line!

  3. Don says:

    It’s a trap! #InstantClassic

  4. Bobbo says:

    Snow cone and tag line are tops with me!

  5. Mark Grand says:

    I enjoyed the jokes about the unmotivated snow cone and the banana phone.
    Too bad you can’t use one to flavor the other.

  6. Teresa says:

    I liked all jokes, except the unmotivated snowcone. I think it’s because the snowcone one is one where I go “I can see that it’s funny” rather than actually smile or laugh — which means, really, that they’re all good.

  7. Joy says:

    Cactus hugs… Haha!

  8. Travis says:

    Love it never a dull moment haha always laughing keep up the good work can’t wait to read the next ones

  9. Jack Lawley says:

    These were very funny! I love your humor.

  10. Colt says:

    I was confused by the banana phone one because I guess I don’t know what a banana phone is and I’m too afraid to google anything with the word “banana” in it at work.
    Snow cones and tag lines though…pure genius 😀

    • admin says:

      HAHAHA I could totally see your HR person calling you into their office and asking about all of your banana searches.

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