I prefer not to call it a glass of water. Instead, it’s an unmotivated snow cone.
Just ordered room service and was asked if it was for 2 or 3 people. Nope, just me.
It’s a lot harder to text on a banana phone than you’d think.
I have very good muscle memory. I remember that it hurts to use my muscles so I eat cake and lay on the couch.
I love when my cat whines for me to hold her. Because I love holding her. It would be like someone whining that they want to give me $30.
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Kittens don’t kill me.. Kittens make me stronger! I am KITTEN WOMAN!
My tag line is: “You’re it!”
I talk to people on airplanes. That’s how much I like making friends.
Cactuses totally look like they want a hug. But don’t. It’s a trap!
Bumper cars don’t even have bumper stickers on them. Figure that one out.
Thank you for reading and for any and all feedback! Let me know which jokes you liked, loved, or perhaps confused you! 🙂
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