Starbucks’s real name is actually CoffeeSucks. They just purposely misspell it when they print it on the cups.
My new cat shirt smells like cat pee… And I didn’t even have to pay extra!
What did the Joker say to Harry Potter’s uncle? Why so Sirius!
Can people with gluten allergies have purebred dogs? Because they’re pure bread.
I know what it’s like to have an entourage. If it’s like having a litter of kittens.
Here’s my impression of Paris Hilton at a hat store. “That’s hat.”
if you love someone, set them free. Abraham lincoln must have really loved slaves.
Lady Gaga is named after a babies first words. “Gaga.” But most people’s first word is actually “Daddy.” So her name could have easily been “Lady Daddy.”
I have a to do lisp: kween my woom, do wondwy, and go to the gwoshery stowe.
I like to slow down when I see a hitch hiker just to ask if they want to thumb wrestle.