New Unicorn Ratings! – The Oscars Edition


What do cats, unicorns, and butterflies all have in common? They’re all nominated for an Oscar this year. And not the Oscars you’re probably thinking about. I’m talking about the real Oscars. The one’s that take place inside a gentrified yarn shop that used to be a Taco Bell. Yes, they still serve tacos at the yarn shop but you have to know the door guy. And yes, yarn shops have door guys, how else do you open a door if your hands are paws and your paws are filled with either tacos or yarn?

As I was saying. Cats, unicorns and butterflies have been nominated for an Oscar in the Best Animal category. It’s the most coveted award. It’s like the Best Picture award, but less racist. The other nominees include squirrels, dolphins, and a beaver in a wheelchair. Not to be confused with Donald Trump’s hair. I know this was an issue for voters last year, and we cannot stress this enough, Donald Trump’s hair is not a beaver in a wheel chair! And it cannot win the best animal award because it smells like an elderly person and it said a lot of mean things about the president. President B’Rock Opossum… Read the rest of the review.

Mar 1, 2015 | Posted by in Posts | 0 comments

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