WASHINGTON DC POT LEGALIZED
Two thirds of Washington DC voters were in favor of legalizing marijuana this week, surprising many. When asked how they felt about the two thirds result, a local man said he didn’t want two thirds, he wanted an eighth. He then realized this wasn’t a drug deal, and skateboarded away.
Washington DC Has Voted to Legalize Pot for personal use, unfortunately the measure will need to be reviewed by a conservative majority, the least likely party to support marijuana legalization. What conservatives don’t realize is that Jesus definitely smoked pot. Don’t believe me? Picture Jesus wearing a tie-dye t-shirt. There, wasn’t that suspiciously easy?
TAYLOR SWIFT SPOTIFY
This week Taylor Swift ended her relationship with Spotify. As with all good breakups, Taylor will be burning bridges, and her fans will be burning her music.
Taylor Swift has pulled her music from the streaming service Spotify this week, adamant that music shouldn’t be free. Taylor is even demanding that anytime you hear the song “Shake It Off” play in your head, you have to send her 5 cents. I’ve preemptively filed for bankruptcy.
Star Wars Episode VII has been titled: The Force Awakens
The title has finally been revealed for Star Wars Episode Vee Eye Eye. Hold on a second. What’s a Vee Eye Eye? What is that? Oh… A Roman what? Numeral? Is a Numeral like a Jedi or a Sith?
The title for Star Wars Episode VII has been revealed as “The Force Awakens.” It’s better than the working title: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Hits The Snooze Button.