The best part about being a headliner, is that you get to make all the rules. It’s awesome, and it’s why everyone wants to be the headliner. The MC doesn’t get to makeup a single rule, and they’re not allowed to wear mascara. At least not at any of MY shows. (wink, that’s one of my rules.)
Tuesday, September 2nd, 9:30pm
I’m headlining at Flappers Yoohoo room in Burbank Californina!
Since I’m the headliner, here are My Rules!
No flash photography.
Turn your cell phones on silent, unless you’re currently awaiting a text from your dumb boyfriend, in continuation of an argument you’ve been having about what it means to “Be There” for someone. HE should have understood how important this comedy show was for you Stacy/Jessica/Megan/
If you bring a real live squirrel to the show, you get a free drink! You must give me the squirrel and I promise not to drop it. Unless it’s really squirmy. (While supplies last.)
If you bring a stuffed animal to the show, you get preferred seating!
No shouting out the words “Hot dog,” or “Where’s my squirrel?” Unless you have purchased a Heckle Card, and these are only redeemable between comedians.
Please no nudity or people with horse laughs. This is distracting to the comedians and to the squirrels.
Wearing a cloak is acceptable as long as it’s an invisibility cloak.
There are several places in “The Valley” to learn Tae Kwon Do. Why is that? This isn’t a rule so much as it is a valid question.
Wait a second. How did you catch your squirrel? If you teach me your ways, you can headline the show.
Lastly, follow my on Twitter @andyerikson.
Remember to HAVE FUN and TIP THE WAITSTAFF!
It brings me great pleasure to announce the lineup: