“So you think you can prance?!” Horse reality show.
Every time I go to the doctor they take a measurement of my height. I’m so tall they look at me and think: she’s probably still growing.
What do you call dinosaurs that fly? Dino soars!
Poor people with big dreams sure worry a lot about what streets are paved with.
Making an arm chair for an octopus. It’s going to be a while.
You should have to wait 18 years before you can legally get divorced.
If you told me you loved the History Channel, that used to mean you were smart.
My mom and her siblings were caught drinking at 7 around 7 years old. Before school the next day my grandma poured them each a shot scolding: “If you’re going to drink, you gotta start early.”
It sucks having to sit by an extra large woman on an airplane. But at least she can be used as a flotation device.
If you have to tell someone you’re not ignoring them, and that’s the first thing you’ve said in a while, then you’re ignoring them.