Ponies would make terrible magicians. Because they only know one trick.
Have you heard? Will Smith has a new song about fishing called, “Getting Jiggy With It.”
Have you heard? Will Smith has a new song about Christmas pudding called “Getting Figgy with it.”
I punish myself with pizza. I’m a pizza cutter.
My favorite Jewish holiday is puff puff Passover.
The press is going to have a track and field day when they hear about the next summer Olympics.
I didn’t want to do it, but I swallowed a group of lions. I just swallowed my pride.
I’m not sure if my cat has a mustache or not.
“I ain’t got time to breed” – Jesse Ventura’s book about if he was chinese.
Free cat haircuts. $10. (Arrow pointing this way.) And thats my marketing portfolio.