I ate some bad pizza and I got pizzeria.
I have a hidden agenda. Item number 1, find my agenda.
I wish I had a day job just so I could wear a wedding dress on casual Fridays.
The only cursive words I can write are swear words.
Five is a four letter word.
Brilliant idea: a fabric pattern that looks like it has cat hair all over it. Goodbye lint rollers, goodbye paisley shapes. Hello cat hair little black dresses.
If Idaho didn’t have potatoes nobody would know how to talk about them. They’d be like Nebraska.
Whenever I hear someone say blessing in disguise, I imagine an angel wearing a ski mask. And I think that would make a great tattoo.
To keep myself from crying I have to try to distract my mind, “Just think about baseball. Think about baseball.” My boyfriend says he uses that technique too.
I think that Spiderman should shoot out iPhone charger cords from his wrists, if he wants to save my day.