I don’t know anybody who says po-tah-to.
I’m so hungry I could eat a unicorn. That’s super hungry.
I think Pizza Hut would do well in third world countries.
What is K’nex short for? I don’t think you should be aloud to use apostrophes in fake words.
I don’t think you should brag about being the mayor of your rehab facility on Foursquare
I tried to write a poem about being interrupted but I –
“I don’t think latin hamster is the latin word for hamster.” -conversation with a smart person.
I’d like a handshake. You heard me. A shake flavored like hands.
It sucks that if your favorite band is the Police you won’t be able to get the vanity license plate you want, without a major career change.
I assume every text I get inviting me to a party is a mass text. So I always respond the same way, by sending a picture of my cat and saying, “Thanks for the invite but my cat needs me here tonight..”