When I grow up I want to dress up like a sexy soccer ball and sing, “Can’t touch this. Na na na na.”
Anyone can pull off a Velcro mustache.
My house plant is just a super boring Giga pet that isn’t even interesting enough to leave little poops.
They’re making a movie about Katrina called, “There Will Be Flood.”
Do clowns have spirit balloon animals?
I saw a commercial for a law firm that said, “We’re more than lawyers, we’re human beings.” I just don’t think you should brag that your lawyers aren’t robots or aliens. Makes it seem like you’re hiding something.
There are less and less knobs in the future. Hang in there doors.
There would be a much higher success rate if instead of speed dating it was dating on speed.
“On your marks get set go.” is a run on sentence.
Caffeine free pop should be illegal.