Jokes for the ride home

Life is about teamwork. And motivation. And knowing when it’s okay to hug someone.

I put the fun in dysctional.

Sheep: Stop pushing me around.
Shepherd: What?
Sheep: You herd me!

“Make it snappy” means hurry up. Seriously stop reading me your poem.

There’s an iPhone app called “Real Basketball.” The app better cost $17 and physically mail you a basketball.

I accidentally glued my hand to a stapler. Your move irony.

I hand pennies to homeless people and say, you have to spend this in one place.

The hardest part about being a republican mom is fighting the urge to name your baby Reagan.

I like to keep my leg perfectly still when sitting at a table, so people think its part of the table and rub their feet up against my leg.

Here’s my impression of the most old timey vitamin: “Vitamin see.”

Apr 14, 2013 | Posted by in Blog, featured | 0 comments

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