Jokes to make your brain feel weird inside

 

My mouth is stuck to my eyeball :\

“Break another leg.” -words of encouragement to a pirate.

You add me at 07734 (what I said to my calculator)

Life is like a box. sometimes people leave kittens in it on the side of the road, and sometimes it’s also a spaceship.

Comedy is also my offense mechanism.

I’ll get on board with almost anything as long as we get to wear costumes and it involves solving a mystery.

“Don’t be ashamed, I think everybody is a little handicapped. I bet your friends don’t even notice.” -My mom.

Doing these dishes is my Everest. Meaning I have no interest at all in conquering them, and just thinking about it makes me tired and sad.

I hate assigned seating. I’m pretty sure that’s how communism started

Its been taking a lot longer than usual for me to realize that I’m in the men’s restroom.

Apr 13, 2013 | Posted by in Blog, featured | 0 comments

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