My mouth is stuck to my eyeball :\
“Break another leg.” -words of encouragement to a pirate.
You add me at 07734 (what I said to my calculator)
Life is like a box. sometimes people leave kittens in it on the side of the road, and sometimes it’s also a spaceship.
Comedy is also my offense mechanism.
I’ll get on board with almost anything as long as we get to wear costumes and it involves solving a mystery.
“Don’t be ashamed, I think everybody is a little handicapped. I bet your friends don’t even notice.” -My mom.
Doing these dishes is my Everest. Meaning I have no interest at all in conquering them, and just thinking about it makes me tired and sad.
I hate assigned seating. I’m pretty sure that’s how communism started
Its been taking a lot longer than usual for me to realize that I’m in the men’s restroom.