When I was your age a candy bar was a nickel! Yeah, and a computer was $400,000. Shut up grandma.
A lot of people don’t know this, but the actual line in Casablanca was, “Here’s looking at you, baby goat. Now put this vest on.”
I don’t know why they even have a book department at Wal-mart.
I’m getting my body ready for snow suit season.
I’m not normally into old dudes, but Gandalf, I’d go gray for you.
My favorite robot is the smorgasbord.
The only thing I know about cars is that they have shark plugs.
If only the song went: “Don’t go chasing the river card.” It would be my poker anthem.
I feel like gyms shouldn’t have parking lots.
The makers of Sudafed probably have mixed feelings about the war on meth. Sure meth is bad… But profits.