Every time I use a Ouija Board by myself, the spirit spells out,”GET A LIFE LOSER.” Does this keep happening to anybody else?
“Oh snow you didn’t.” -ghetto meteorologist
They sell a product called “All purpose tomato sauce.” I guess I can start saving money on toothpaste and laundry detergent.
“What, were you born in a hospital?” -Rhetorical question you ask to someone who has a basic understanding of manners.
I was on the phone argueing with an idiot who refused to bring me cat food. I’m not stupid, I’ve seen the commercials. “I like chicken I like liver, Meow Mix Meow Mix WE DELIVER.”