A banana a day keeps the monkeys at bay.

They should have an MTV’s Real World Antarctica. And then just leave them there.

I’m going to name my dog Lorem Ipsum so I won’t have to tell people in the park that I’m unique AND a graphic designer.

It’s not Adam and Eve, it’s A Dam and Eve. The story of Noah’s Ark from a female perspective.

My mom went to a psychic who told her everyone has a shoulder guide that sits on our shoulders and guides us. I said, “You mean our head?”

I don’t want to bag, but I can carry all these things on my own.

The weather in LA is so great, I don’t know how anybody gets any work done around here! Homeless guy: “Yeah.”

I just said excuse me to a manikin.

Oct 11, 2012 | Posted by in featured, Jokes 2012, Posts | 0 comments

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