Saw an ad for a wireless bra, and I was all “Sweet, i don’t have to plug it in!”

Gays are allergic to music. And that’s why they’re always breaking out in dance.

When talking shit about somebody, I ALWAYS make sure I’m not accidentally texting it to that person. No matter what. Even if it’s Tom Cruise.

An elderly person with a backpack is the cutest thing. I always wonder what they have in there? A rotary phone and a cribbage board?

They ran out of cotton balls at the drug store. So I bought a stuffed animal and a pair of scissors with an evil grin on my face.

Jul 27, 2012 | Posted by in Posts | 0 comments

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