Gays are allergic to music. And that’s why they’re always breaking out in dance.
When talking shit about somebody, I ALWAYS make sure I’m not accidentally texting it to that person. No matter what. Even if it’s Tom Cruise.
An elderly person with a backpack is the cutest thing. I always wonder what they have in there? A rotary phone and a cribbage board?
They ran out of cotton balls at the drug store. So I bought a stuffed animal and a pair of scissors with an evil grin on my face.