Knit me a cape grandma!!! I’m a super hero.

This is my impression of someone mad at a kayak. “KAYAK!!!!!”

My favorite goat movie is probably The Next Karate Kid.

Potatoes must suck at their jobs. Because they always get sacked.

My mom told me I should have been a telemarketer. I guess I missed my calling.

I created a fan page called “Being Indecisive,” just so I could like it, then unlike it again.

Did people carry flashlights around with them before cell phones? I swear I have no idea how I could have managed.

I use those little sword toothpicks to knight my green olives before I eat them.

Legos are like puzzles for dumb people.

When people say something is in “God’s hands,” I want to tell them that God’s hands are actually a motorcycle and a dolphin.

I love multitasking at the gym. I write thank you cards on my stationary bike.

Jun 20, 2012 | Posted by in Posts | 0 comments

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