To solve the mystery of why my hair was so tangled, I hired Sherlock Combs.
I asked for a unicorn and my parents bought me a dog with a party hat on it’s head.
I asked a vampire how he wanted his steak, and he said, “Not wooden, and not jammed into my heart area.”
“The Jig is up.” – Will Smith’s tomb stone.
I sleep on my stomach. So I can pretend my blanket is a giant cape.
The average vocabulary is five… wombulldingles
I drew eyes on all my socks so when my mom does my laundry she thinks I really love sock puppets.
When people get trapped on a dessert island, I don’t understand why they resort to cannibalism, when there’s ice cream and brownies everywhere.