There’s no i in team, but there’s one i in pirate. So put this eye patch on and lets play some soccer!
It feels like our government is asking Miss America for economic and political advice. Then punching her in the face every time she says “world peace?”
I told an amputee at the poker table that he should fold. Because he didn’t have a good hand.
A scandal is a sandal with a secret.
I put a shark tooth under my pillow. Woke up to find a bloody arm where the tooth had been.
Old people aren’t smart. They just have to read books with big words.