Putting chocolate on a banana is not an invention.

The guy who wrote the song about rowing your boat either had a stutter… or was a musical genius.

I gazed into my mirror wondering what was inside my head. Curious, I opened the cabinet. “Oh yeah, prescription drugs and toothpaste.”

The first time I used a microphone I was all, “This isn’t a really tiny phone.”

Every day is laundry day for old people because they’re always wearing granny panties.

The difference between getting rested and getting arrested, is that I took a nap on a cop car.

The only people looking for Big Foot are Star Wars fans because they think it might be Chewbacca.

What’s it called when you administer a vaccine? Well whatever it is, I’m gonna give it a shot.

That’s either a dollar sign, or there are no snakes allowed.

If I lived in a trailer home I’d buy like 30 copies of the movie Twister and have them on display.

My friend told me I might be an alcoholic. I said one beer a day is good for you. And I just have a lot of catching up to do.

Apr 9, 2012 | Posted by in Posts | 0 comments

Add Your Comment

Your email address will not be published.

Premium Wordpress Themes by UFO Themes