I robbed a ski mask store. Pretty sure they recognized me.
A recent study revealed that the Garden of Eden was mostly marijuana. And it was a hit from an apple bong that showed adam and eve the truth.
If Walmart was a high school, I’d be prom queen. I’d also be captain of the meth team.
Dumb Lady: How do we get out of here?
Me: The stairs are over there.
Dumb Lady: No, we need to go down.
Me: What? They’re not one way stairs.
Dreamt I was MCing for a comedian who’s tagline was “Thank you goodnight.” I kept thinking he was done, and never got to eat my chef salad.
I told my art teacher that I was drawing a blank. She bought it and I was like, sweet! I’m done!
Do teenage girl trees have lumber parties?