Popcorn and cat hair… Can’t remember the third ingredient in my grandmas famous trail mix.
Just witnessed a “friender bender” – a high five attempt turned accidental double face slap.
Got teased for wearing a back brace in school and my mom said “They’re just jealous they don’t have a cool place to put magnets.” Thanks mom.
My friend asked if my car had a car seat. And I was like, of course it does. It has 5. What a dumb question.
I thought a shark was eating a kids head, but it was just his hat. I haven’t been this disappointed since hat week.
You can fit 37 beanie babies into a brief case. So yeah, today was a good day at work.
The Northern Lights are God’s screen saver. He’s ignoring us, quick whip out the booze and lets covet some shit!
For once i’d like someone to donate money to kids with abilities. They’d actually be able to do something with it.