Clint Eastwood doesn’t stay at the Best Western.

My dog sucks at yoga. Downward facing loser.

I keep getting Euros confused with Oreos. I used to think, “No wonder Europe’s economy is so messed up. People be eating their money.”

I love waking up to find that the last text message I sent was: Dinosaurs are so cool.

“Nay bores!” That’s what I say to the boring people who live next door, when they ask me to hang out.

What’s better for you, diet coke, or regular cocaine?

A fish stick in a bowl of water is the saddest pet store. It’s also a weird lunch.

You can’t make a living, being a zombie.

I manage an Applebees. Professionally.

I wonder if clouds ever look down at earth and say, “Hey that bunny looks like a cloud.”

If zombies liked candy instead of brains, they’d have so much fun at a parade. Sigh… Maybe in another life.

Feb 16, 2012 | Posted by in Posts | 0 comments

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