I yell “go fish” when I’m playing cards, AND when I’m stuck in fish traffic.
Has anybody ever tried to bring salad into a dressing room?
I’m better than you. In my humble opinion.
The only time I’ll answer a foreign person who says “how you say” is if they’re asking “how you say, do?”
Those were the days. Before adjectives apparently.
I went into a religious bookstore and asked “Where is your non-fiction section?” then I laughed and laughed.
i keep getting the electric slide confused with the electric chair. They’re both popular in the south, and are a form of punishment.
My name is actually Fieldy Butterton. Don’t tell my mom.
The reason people say “bless you,” after you sneeze is because they think you’re praying to Sneezus Christ.
My new years resolution is High Def. Because I’m Def gonna be High.