I wish spiders didn’t leave their Halloween decorations up all year long. Stupid webs.
I went to a Dunkin Donuts and held up a protest sign that read, “Water boarding donuts is illegal!”
The nativity scene has less Native Americans in it then I thought it would. And way too many magic babies.
Real “stand up guys” don’t do standup. They work at bird charities and know all of their grandparents names. They don’t tell stories about their beards, and they don’t sell plasma for extra weed money. (a line from one of my recent lectures)
If the American eagle is bald, I bet the Mexican eagle has a mustache, the Japanese eagle is a robot, and the Canadian eagle has an extra head growing out of it’s neck. If we’re following stereotypes.