If a gingerbread man is depressed, is he a cookie cutter?
Fosters. Australian for “This Beer is Adopted”
When i wear my seat belt I pretend like it’s a pageant sash. “Hello, I’m Miss Oldsmobile Cutlass 1997. And if you cut me off i’m going to shove my world peace up your exhaust pipe” Smile. Wave. Smile. Flip the bird. Smile.
When you’re the only person on the bus, it feels like a limo. “Hey chauffeur! Take me down Hennepin! Then drop me off 6 blocks from my apartment. Thank you. Here’s a dollar and 75 cents for your troubles.”
In other news, volume man pissed that area man gets all the attention.
When a vampire gets bit by another vampire, is it revamped?