I had to put my pet rock to sleep. It attacked my pet scissors.
I bet grizzly bears like people who wear skinny jeans. Because they can easily tell who the weak ones are.
You’re not a racist just because you run in races. It’s because you only run in 3k’s.
What’s your sign? The stop sign. Stop talking to me.
The city I was in last night had a blackout. In the morning there were trees knocked down, and there was debris everywhere… I was like “Dang, this city knows how to party!”