I don’t go to Subway because I can’t make my own sandwich. I go to Subway because I enjoy watching handicapped people touch olives.
There are fully fed children in Africa. We just never hear about them. Maybe they’re the ones in real danger.
Never ask a Mob person if they can take care of your grandma.
Pizza rolls. No it doesn’t.
Remember before remotes were invented? My dad was so lazy! He’d make me carry the TV over to him every time he wanted to change the channel.
Today in Irony: A bunch of little kids hijacked an unmarked white van and drove it to the dentist.