What’s better than the show Intervention? Divine Intervention: “God, we know you’re doing drugs. You created platypuses. Put the wand down.”
If we didn’t have thumbs, mittens would be less confusing. But thumb wars would be way more confusing. So i guess we’ll just have to decide.
When a cat thinks it’s a human everyone says it’s SO cute, but when i think i’m a golden retriever the whole town gets rabies vaccinations.
Considering the credit history and the debt our government has, i’m surprised the White House hasn’t been repossessed.
I think marching band would be a lot more interesting if they marched like penguins. (waddle waddle TROMBONE SOUND!)
Whenever I stay in a hotel, i always go to the room three doors down, and say, “Hey i’m in the room three doors down. We should be in a band together.”