I played medium league baseball

I feel like my washing machine has defeated me every time I throw in the towel.

What if this wasn’t a hypothetical question?

My friend asked what time it was.
i said “it’s 900 dollars.”
he replied “wait, you mean 9 o’clock right?”
Then i yelled “TIME IS MONEY!”

Panda bears are terrible drivers. Not because they’re Asian. Because they’re panda bears. You racist.

In Mexico are they mad because “Those jobs are stealing all our Mexicans!”

I think the trees are planning to takeover. I suspect treason… But dangit, it’s too obvious. Trees. Treason. I jet hope the bushes aren’t committing bushon. I’d be so pissed.

Are you pretending that you can’t read? Then whatever you do, DON’T act shocked, or as if you’ve been caught. Any change in expression and people will know the truth. If you’ve changed the shape of your face on accident, do not panic, you can pretend that you have to sneeze, or that your face hurts. Oh man I just hope nobody is watching you. Actually at this point in the blog, you’ve probably already laughed out loud 4-30 times. So it’s already too late. The joke is on you. (if that’s a pun let the record show that it’s intended.) They know you can read. What?! Would you rather they think you’re a crazy lady who laughs at the internet in general? What’s wrong with you?

Jun 22, 2011 | Posted by in Posts | 0 comments

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