Love is when a Zombie eats your heart.
sweat pants? more like sweet pants.
if an anteater is anorexic, then is it called an anti eater?
Whenever my mom said “Don’t do that in front of present company!” I thought she was talking about Santa. Because he had a present company.
It’s weird to think that my grandpa fought in World War 2, and 50 years from now kids are gonna be saying, “My grandpa fought in World… Of Warcraft.”
Shaking hands with a business man is like challenging someone to a gay thumb war.