I saw a guy with a tattoo of a finger on his mustache. It was more ironic than awesome.
“You’ve gotta be careful where you put your nuts. Next thing you know you’re putting an oak tree through college.” -squirrel wisdom
I’m starting to think that my pet sandwich doesn’t like me, and that I never should have sharpied on that smiley face. Faker.
After the IT guy shoots a bunch of people in the office, does he apologize by saying “Whoops. My bust a caps lock was on.”
If native americans were wolves, they would greet people by saying “howl”
If they ever make an adventure movie about a tabby cat exploring an office building, they should call it “Milo and Otis Elevators”