I’m awesome at grocery shopping. Double brag that.

Left brained means you’re logical. Right brained means you’re creative. Bird-brained means you’re stupid. But you can fly so who gives a shit!

(flexing) Did you get your tickets? To the ARM show? Wait, I mean the gun thing! Gun show. Dammit.

Babies are just like coffee. Good to the last drop.

Hurricane and Able. i’m not sure, but i think there’s something there.

If you told me the world was shaped like a hotdog, I wouldn’t believe you.

Your child isn’t gifted ma’am. More like re-gifted. (transcripts from my middle school student teacher conference)

I heard the Gettysburg Address has only 272 words in it. Gosh it must be a really tricky place to find.

May 22, 2011 | Posted by in Posts | 0 comments

Add Your Comment

Your email address will not be published.

Premium Wordpress Themes by UFO Themes