Left brained means you’re logical. Right brained means you’re creative. Bird-brained means you’re stupid. But you can fly so who gives a shit!
(flexing) Did you get your tickets? To the ARM show? Wait, I mean the gun thing! Gun show. Dammit.
Babies are just like coffee. Good to the last drop.
Hurricane and Able. i’m not sure, but i think there’s something there.
If you told me the world was shaped like a hotdog, I wouldn’t believe you.
Your child isn’t gifted ma’am. More like re-gifted. (transcripts from my middle school student teacher conference)
I heard the Gettysburg Address has only 272 words in it. Gosh it must be a really tricky place to find.