hungry? why wait? grab a Snick- grab a salad actually. now that i look at you.

when life gives you life… just eat the damn cereal and pray nobody finds the body.

I’m jealous of Asian tweeters. With 140 characters I bet they could write a whole Frikken novel!

Big beards are like upside-down dollops of ice cream on the face-cone of life.

i like to sneak into zoos and install basketball hoops in the giraffe area.

if you leave your zebra alone for too long it will turn into a cake. zebra cake. deserted zebra.

Whenever i think of a “bundle of joy,” my mind doesn’t go to babies… i think of a quadriplegic ninja in a blanket. Or a bag of soup. 

Dinosaurs are prehistoric. not pre-“history” you religious nut balls.

whenever i’m in a plane i like to look down at the earth and say “man, ants look like really small ants, from way up here.”

May 20, 2011 | Posted by in Posts | 0 comments

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