Whenever I see a tree hugger hugging a tree, I always yell “get a room!” Then I threaten to chop down a bunch of trees and just build one for them.
A gummy bear crossed me. So I ate his whole family.
“I don’t care how nice your capri pants are Rachel. I can see your ankles and that’s a double sin. One sin for each disgusting ankle.” -Muhammad
The game of Clue for red necks: was it my baby mama’s uncle, in or around the trailer, with the crocodile leg?
The game of Clue for Jersey Shore: was it The Situation, in the hot tub, with Snooki’s face?
I keep getting Hogwarts and Harvard confused.
“My weird glasses make it so people can see ME better.” -Hipster