take one down pass it around. people don’t keep beer on their walls anymore. actually.

Whenever I’m listening to a bible song that is in another language I like to pretend the lyrics are “shut up science!” 

I always thought decaffeinated was another word for a robot cow abortion. 

I’m making a movie where anytime there is a beep sound, I cover it up with a swear word.

My science teacher was talking about how ether is a class of organic compounds and that there is ether is outer space. But my teacher had a lisp… And ether sounds like Easter… so thats’s why I shouted, “Does the Easter bunny live in outer space?” 

I told a fat person they were bigger, and he said “Hey, that’s our word.” 

Only old-timey political parties can say whigger. 

Yesterday my mom called me and said “Your kitty misses you! She’s been looking out the window all day!” and I was like “She always looks out the window. It’s just as likely she misses squirrels, leaves, and freedom.”

Feb 7, 2011 | Posted by in Posts | 0 comments

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