Whenever I’m listening to a bible song that is in another language I like to pretend the lyrics are “shut up science!”
I always thought decaffeinated was another word for a robot cow abortion.
I’m making a movie where anytime there is a beep sound, I cover it up with a swear word.
My science teacher was talking about how ether is a class of organic compounds and that there is ether is outer space. But my teacher had a lisp… And ether sounds like Easter… so thats’s why I shouted, “Does the Easter bunny live in outer space?”
I told a fat person they were bigger, and he said “Hey, that’s our word.”
Only old-timey political parties can say whigger.
Yesterday my mom called me and said “Your kitty misses you! She’s been looking out the window all day!” and I was like “She always looks out the window. It’s just as likely she misses squirrels, leaves, and freedom.”