I always thought it was happy street patricks day.
My sister likes to go to the VFW and tell people she’s a veteran, and I have to correct her. “you’re a veterinarian. Not a veteran narian.”
If I tell someone I like the back of their hand, is that a backhanded compliment? “oh, so the front of my hand is stupid?”
Do you guys remember legends of the hidden temple? When people thought they only had one temple on the right side of their head, until Indiana jones went to a masseuse and found that hey, there’s another temple on the right side of your head, hidden behind your angular bangs.
Today’s ward of the day is “Montgomery.” Yesterday’s ward of the day was “The psychiatric.”
Fact: a quick brown fox got eaten by my lazy dog today. Fact: My English teacher is a Frikken liar.
Lawyers are gay. They always want to make partner.
Amish people can’t write autobiographies. Because of the word auto, they have to write horse drawn bugographies.