Midnight jokes inspired by sleep deprivation and not drugs. (for the soul)

i texted my friend today and he responded “sorry, I got a new phone, who is this?” I wanted to be funny so I replied “this is your mom.” And then he said “my mom doesn’t text me asking if unicorns wear top hats to hide there horns so they can blend in with horses.” and then I said “well do they?”

I hear they’re making a sequel to the TV show House. It’s called Mortgage.

Do you put little capes on your sandwiches? Or does that make it harder to eat them knowing they could fly if they only believed.

Hey Chad. Is your name Chad because your dad was a whole puncher?

I caught an eagle and shaped it into a ball. Then I yelled with glee “You’re a balled eagle! And we’re friends!”

If your cheese has holes in it and also contains mini scissors, a blade, and a file, then maybe it’s a Swiss army cheese.

My house talks too much, it’s a rambler.

Jan 11, 2011 | Posted by in Posts | 0 comments

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