My friends are like the front of the city bus. pregnant, handicapped, and bus drivers.
My sister tells people she got a major in economics. i have to correct her, “home” economics. She thinks it’s the same thing. So i ask, what’s rise over run? And she yells “Babies don’t eat meat!”
The light on the elevator button doesn’t work on my floor, so i like to stand in front of the buttons and wait for somebody to stand next to me. It’s a test to see if they think i’m stupid. Turns out, if you wait for an elevator with me for 7 minutes, you’re the stupid one. But we sure had fun talking about cat mustaches.
i won’t eat stuffing at thanksgiving, because i think the native americans would have been against eating stuffed animals.