1.) Wizards don’t have the internet, so if you want Pottermore to work, you’ll have to use the spell Pottermorehomora!
2.) Don’t punch owls, they are wizard text messages, and our allies.
3.) Punch Justin Bieber. He is a Death Eater.
4.) Pledge your allegiance to Fudge. Cornelius Fudge, and the chocolate stuff too.
5.) Do you bank with stupid TCF or Wells Fargo? Switch to Gringotts. No overdraft fees! But you could get violated by a goblin…
6.) Dumbledore is gay. And he is the best wizard. You should be gay too.
7.) Celebrate Christmas, even though you’re a heathen.
8.) Wizards drink tea, so make fun of your coffee mug. Call it a muggle if you have to.
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