my parents took the legs off my trampoline to make it more safe. it sure is fun to jump on a mesh circle mom and dad.
i like to fill ice cube trays with vodka. The vodka doesn’t freeze, but it’s cool little rectangles for a little while.
it’s ironic that a coach would never want a coach purse.
a 4 car garage is like a 4 slot toaster: you end up putting boats in it.
do you think trees wish they could wear hats in the winter so people didn’t know they were bald?
you can’t spell drugs without rugs. so lets pretend we’re shoes.
i wish we got rollover hours in real life for when we black out. oh hey, you didn’t use 4 hours last month, here you go, some extra free time to clean pee out of stuff, and visit grandma.