Girls have flower power! They can attract bees.
I Like to lay on top of the covers and say “HAHA, now I’m the blanket”
I make the kids I babysit suck helium out of balloons. Hoping they will float away, or get sleepy at least.
God is a higher power, but he can’t be used as an exponent in math. (what I tell kids who were home schooled.)
Lima beans contain cyanide. So did those jelly beans I used to poison my goldfish with. Don’t worry, the goldfish is fine. Apparently those stupid suns of fishes don’t like popcorn jellybeans. Stupid’s.
There’s supposed to be more than two peas in the pod. I think your friendship is retarded.
When a British person says “smashing pumpkins” don’t worry, you’re pumpkins are fine. It’s a compliment,
Don’t judge a pickle by it’s face. Pickles don’t have faces.
Advice from a banana: “Is your grandpa getting old and brownish colored? Bake him into a tasty semi-racist bread.”
“Pickle me Elmo” a fun toy for cucumber farmers.