Infringement, how can you copyright infringement?
Conversation starter with a potato wrapped in tinfoil “so, did you lil fellas just get done running a marathon?
I think shelvery is more dead then chivalry.
The White House is like a comedy condo for presidents. Obama: “Where are all the couch cushions? frikken Bush and his forts…”
I’m just glad squirrels aren’t shiny
I put a horn on my bike, then yelled, “My bike is a unicorn!”
If Al Franken married Alex Stein, his name would be Franken-Stein
What would you rather have, growing pains, or window panes? Well it depends if you’re a house or not.
How to tell if you are a house: do you have a basement? are your hands actually bricks and wood? Does your neighbor have people living inside of it? Hmm, you might be a house.
Did you recently realize that you are a house? Here are some common phrases you should learn: The lady with the good pies lives kitty-corner. I’m not a popular doctor Tv Show so stop watching me. My white picket fence isn’t protesting anything except sneaky Mexicans.
Ohhhh, you were talking about pianos. That makes sense. I was like. who would pay a thousand dollars for a baby.