i’m suspicious of fish because they’re bitches.

Whenever I walk into a banana republic, I’m like “so this is what it would be like if banana’s were in charge.”  Less yellow dolphin’s then I voted for. Lots of extra pants…

Things I learned today: 1. Smoking a bowl is not when you put Tupperware in an easy bake oven. 2. After smoking a bowl, you’re !2% more likely to put Tupperware in an easy bake oven.

I use gift bags for my garbage bags. That way when an enemy comes over I’ll have a present ready for them.

I ran over a kid with my car. That’s one of my child hood memories.

Those little turtles on super mari­o bros would make good court judges. Because they have lots of little mallets, and frikken nothing gets by them 

Mario jumped on my computer today, and I had to yell “NO MARIO! That’s a Browser, not Bowser!”

I like to type “ninja” into peoples cell phones. And then they’re like whoa, ninjas be sneeeeeaky.

i got high on sprinkles and accidentally invented flag basketball! (it’s a mix between flag football, monopoly, and a cake eating contest)

ipods are the best comedians. cuz they got so many gigs.

GUYS: if you could turn any one of the twins players into a girl for a day and go on a date with them. which one would you chose and why?

Sep 13, 2010 | Posted by in Posts | 0 comments

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