I wonder if giraffes treat horses like they’re midgets.
If a butterfly has butterflies in its stomach. It’s not nervous. It’s a cannibal.
i’m not a pedophile, i’m a freelance pediatrician.
i call it the grand canyawn. because it’s so boring.
I like to look out at my yard lovingly. Then I say “damn, you one fine piece a grass.”
What if my password was 7 asterisks. (*******) that would be confusing.
Pens only like to hang out with other pens. They’re very clicky.
If you sell bread and butter, than it really is your bread and butter.
There’s no place to set your drink on a roller coaster
one time i created something that was too heavy for me too lift, and then i knew that i was god.
potatoes don’t even have feet, why do they have toes.?