jesus was once a stranger, and now look.

I don’t like when people call the turn signal on a car a blinker. It’s most definitely a winker

I like bologna, I think it’s a totally legitimate meat. But I know a lot of people who think it’s fake. So I just yell “it’s not bologna! You guys, it’s real. Balogna is not balogna!”

Ebony is wood, and ivory is teeth. So whenever I think of ebony and ivory living together in perfect harmony, I picture a giant tree with lots of teeth. And all I know is that if trees had teeth, we’d be in big trouble.

I was so uncoordinated  as a kid, that my mom had to put training wheels on my tricycle.

If potatoes were in charge of writing history they would have a completely different outlook on the potato famine. They would say, “We sure beat those dang irish in the Great war of 1945.”

I got a paper cut recently, and I started to bleed, and I was like, damnit paper, are you trying to tell me that I spelt a bunch of words wrong?

Bandana’s are stupid. I think god was trying to make another banana and the devil snuck a d in their, and now hipsters put them on their faces. 

Jul 28, 2010 | Posted by in Posts | 0 comments

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